life…

it really is a strange thing then i think about it. when it started, where it is at the moment and what will it be like in the future. i always keep worrying what me and my circumstances would be like, in lets say, next 5 years time. what will i be doing once i graduate from my university. what would be my job like (if i do get any). what will be my “life-partner” be like. it’s all so dreadful when i think about it. and then to think about it that i’ll be all over one day that i’d be dead one day and that it won’t even matter if i had a receding hairline or if i didn’t get a good grade in a particular subject. and if it doesn’t, then why is the society pushing me so hard to care about it. isn’t there something missing in between or if it isn’t, then shouldn’t there me something that we’re ignoring…

i have been going over and over this circle of thoughts for i don’t know how long and it’s been really bothering me that whether i am looking in the right direction or not. should i just ignore this involuntary thought process of mine and just try to adopt a “normal” lifestyle. or are these things worth spinning my head over and really should mean something so much that they won’t even let me be cheerful when confronted with a crowd out in open because all i see then is a people who are blind to what is happening and how they are just going on, purposeless…

so in a nutshell, am i going insane or is it just a phase in life that ought to pass by soon?